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The Compliments She Never Saw Coming

A few years ago I was taking my mom to renew her driver’s licence.

I arrived to fetch her and as she climbed into the car she immediately wrinkled her nose.

“What’s that smell?” she asked.

“What smell?” I replied.

“There’s a horrible smell in this car.”

At first I couldn’t smell anything.

Then, once she’d mentioned it, I caught a faint whiff of something.

It smelled suspiciously like a jersey that had been left in the washing machine for too long.

Or perhaps packed away slightly damp.

Not terrible.

But definitely… not ideal.

I leaned across towards her.

Then I found the culprit.

“Mom,” I said. “It’s your jersey.”

She looked horrified.

“My jersey?”

“Yes.”

She pulled the collar up and sniffed it.

Then sniffed it again.

The expression on her face suggested she had just discovered something deeply unpleasant.

“Oh dear.”

Now, if you’ve ever had a piece of clothing develop that slightly funky smell, you’ll know that once you notice it, it’s all you can think about.

The problem was that we were already running late.

There was no time to go home and change.

So I did what any son who owns a fragrance business would do.

I opened the glove box.

“I think there’s a bottle of perfume in there.”

She looked at it suspiciously.

Then gave it a cautious spray.

“I’m not sure which is worse,” she muttered.

And off we went.

By the time we arrived at the licensing department she had become completely convinced that she smelled like a wet dog that had rolled in the herb garden.

We joined the queue.

Stood around for a while.

Moved forward a few metres.

Waited some more.

The usual driver’s licence renewal experience.

Eventually we moved inside and found seats.

A woman sitting next to my mother smiled and said:

“That’s a lovely perfume. What are you wearing?”

My mom looked genuinely confused.

“The perfume?” she asked.

“Yes,” replied the woman. “It smells wonderful.”

My mother thanked her politely but I could see she wasn’t entirely convinced.

Surely the woman had missed the smell of the jersey.

A little later it was time for the eye test.

The official looked up from the machine and smiled.

“Shoe Mammy, you smell so lovely.”

At this point my mother started looking rather pleased with herself.

The jersey, it seemed, had been completely forgotten.

I love this story because it reminds me how unreliable we can be when it comes to judging ourselves.

Once my mother became aware of that smell, it occupied far more space in her mind than it did in reality.

She assumed everyone else would notice it.

She assumed everyone else would be thinking about it.

She assumed it would define how people experienced her.

Instead, people noticed something entirely different.

I think we all do this.

Not just with fragrance.

With life.

We worry about the thing we think everyone else is noticing.

A mistake.

A flaw.

An insecurity.

Something we feel self-conscious about.

Meanwhile, other people are often paying attention to completely different things.

Sometimes the thing we’re worried about barely registers at all.

Fragrance can be like that too.

Many of the scents that receive the most compliments are not necessarily the ones we expect.

Sometimes the fragrance we’re unsure about becomes the one people remember.

Sometimes the one we nearly didn’t wear becomes the one people ask about.

Perhaps the lesson is simple.

We’re often the least objective person in the room.

If You’re Curious to Explore That

One of the joys of fragrance is that surprises happen.

A scent you weren’t sure about becomes a favourite.

A fragrance you almost overlooked suddenly clicks.

Or a sample you chose on a whim turns out to be the one you reach for most often.

That’s why we encourage exploration.

Not because every fragrance will be perfect.

But because sometimes the unexpected ones become the most rewarding.

You can start small:

  • 5 × 2ml samples for R100
  • 3 × 10ml fragrances for R200

Or, if you’ve already discovered a few favourites:

  • Any 3 × 50ml fragrances for R675 to build a more complete wardrobe

Sometimes the thing we’re worried about isn’t what other people notice at all.

Until next time

Rob

"Just like men, perfume is never perfect right away; you must let it seduce you."

Jean Patou

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