The Scent of Belonging: A Small Act That Changed All of Us

I take my mom to church on Tuesday mornings. She started going after my Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s a number of years ago. After he passed away just over a year ago I started going with her.

There are two guys who stay at the homeless shelter nearby who started to attend the same service six months or so ago. They are both really sweet guys, but one in particular smells like a goat, there is just no nice way to say it.

It’s a short service, but still being in a closed chapel with them for 45 mins was quite an experience.

So a couple of weeks ago I brought both of them a selection of fragrances in the hopes that they would use them. To say their gratitude was overwhelming would be an understatement.

A couple of weeks ago I read an article about a hairdresser, Katie Stellar, based in Minneapolis in the United States. She was in the process of striking out on her own, but the shop fitting on her new store was delayed by a few weeks.

She had a set of new, red salon chairs sitting unused in her house, waiting to be installed. One day, feeling somewhat frustrated, she remembers looking at the chairs and thinking, “This is kind of a waste… like, what if I stuck one in my car and went and offered haircuts.”

This is how the Red Chair Project got started. Katie would set up on a street corner and offer free haircuts to the local community.

As she explains, we all pass by people every day in our communities who are in need of help. Our initial thoughts might be laced with judgment, assumptions or discomfort, and that makes sense. The Red Chair Project is a challenge to those sentiments, as Katie puts it most people aren’t wanting to be saved, they just want to be seen and acknowledged.

Katie’s story made me feel a little uncomfortable.

My first thought whilst standing in the chapel surrounded by that stinky fog was how I could make it go away. I did not really give much thought to the two people involved. I just wanted it to stop.

They were incredibly gracious when I gave them their scents. I was not sure how to approach them, I mean how do you eloquently and without insult say to someone “Hey, I think you are pretty smelly, please use this?”. They completely took away my discomfort and were so genuinely grateful, I felt somewhat humbled by the experience.

Every Tuesday they greet me like we are long lost friends. Over the weeks I have gotten to know them better and hear a bit about their stories. Life as they say is not a dress rehearsal. Different decisions are really all that separate us.

I am not sure if my giving a few perfumes to the homeless guys at my church is the start of something like the Red Chair Project. That small gift seems to have made a big difference to those two people. They no longer hide at the back of the chapel, but come and sit among us. It seems to have given them a sense of acceptance into the group. They look like they feel more confident in themselves.

There is no doubt that scent brings people together, a sense of belonging and acceptance is a deep seated human need we all have.

I was not being selfless like Katie Stellar. I did not start out with a desire to give something back. I started off trying to solve what was a problem for me. The experience however has opened my eyes and I see that we could be helping to make those small human connections to people who need them. Community and connection, when all is said and done, that is all that matters.

It’s really not much more than a soulful reflection at the moment. If you have any thoughts on how we can pay it forward and share the love around, please reach out.

This is our last newsletter for 2025. I would like to say a big thank you to everyone who has supported us this year.

We are closing the office on Friday 12 December and will re-open on 14 January 2026. Our buy one get one free Black Friday deal runs until this Friday 12 December 2025,

Please use the coupon BlackFriday2025 to claim it.

The last orders for Christmas will be packed on 19 December.

We wish you all a Merry Christmas, a fabulous festive Season and a Happy New Year. For those going away, Godspeed and travel safely. We look forward to seeing you all again in 2026.

Until next time

Rob

PS… If you have a fun, sad, interesting, amusing story or experience you would like to share with us and it’s chosen for the newsletter you’ll win R150 worth of reward points you can use whenever you like. We’d love to hear from you, so get in touch.

The Scent of Belonging: A Small Act That Changed All of Us

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